The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
jenndenae
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Name: Jenn
Birthday: 7/10/1980
Gender: Female


Interests: Photography, books, cooking, gardening, old barns
Expertise: Photography, video editing, graphic design
Occupation: Military
Industry: Art


Message: message me


Member Since: 8/18/2005

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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Man....I am soooooooo tired.  I feel like I am in a never ending loop of go-go-go...and not the gadet kind of go-go.  I am so ready for a break.  I would love to have a just a couple of hours to myself.  Two.  So I could get my hair cut and colored.  Sigh....  Someday...Someday... Not sure when...but somedy.  Until then I will have  shaggy grown-out hair.  Oh well.  Off to bed...to bed...to bed.. tra la la la.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Emotions breaking through

Do you ever get to the point where you are so overwhelmed and pushed past your limits that you don't even realize it anymore?  I know, that sounds pretty ridiculous, but I have to say I was just there.  Life has been......well, insane lately to put it lightly.  Not just busy, not just full....insane.  These last three months have been one thing after another followed by two or three more simultaneous things.  And to tell you the truth, I didn't realize how overwhelmed I was.  I didn't realize that I was moments away from a nervous break down.  I was just plugging along, doing what I had to do to get everything done.  Between deployments (both me and Meek) crazy families, holidays, work, work, work, school..and this list goes on I haven't stopped for a moment to just.....breathe.  Yesterday I decided that I needed a break and I submitted my forms to drop the next two classes I am scheduled to take for school.  Yes, this means I will be a further behind on my degree completion goal...but oh well.  What's another 4 months when you've been going at it for 11 years.  My God!  I should be a doctor by now.  Anyways, I thought I was handling all this stress and insanity pretty well.  I mean, I am even managing to train for a race.  Then I got the letter from my school saying that they accepted my withdrawal submittal and I would be free from school for 4 months.  And then it hit me.  I started bawling.  Not just crying...bawling.  Total complete sobbing.  I was just so relieved to have a break.  I mean I still have work, kids, running, and everything in between left.  But one thing not to worry about.  It is so nice to know I won't have to stress about, "When can I get my homework done?"  "I'm so tired all I want to do is zone out on a movie or Facebook."  I mean, now maybe I can actually edit some of the photos I have taken of the kids in the last year.  Oh the possibilities.


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Resolution

So, I have never been once much for making New Years Resolutions.  But I decided that 2009 seems like a good year to try something new.  So here goes.

My New Years Resolution for 2009 is to improve my overall health (mind, body, and spirit) by consistent exercise, mediation, reward, and healthy eating.

What I really wanted to say was lose 20 pounds and fit into my size 5s.  But that seems a little too focused on one thing so I am sticking with the former. 

Happy New Year.  I hope 2009 brings more peace and stability to my life and those whom I love.


Friday, November 28, 2008

Piiiiinng

Piiiing is the sound of the last screw in my head popping.  My children are going to make me go to the cukoo house.  Cuckoo Cuckooo happy place!

My son has been crying for an 1.5. AAAAAGHHHHHHHHH.  Stop it.  Because he wants us to stay in his room with him.  GO TO SLEEEEEEP.  Then my daughter is such a drama queen.  Making me crazy.

And life is just insanity.  Huge decision to make right now.  Meek was offered a job in Colorado.  It owuld be a two level jump making mega bugs.  Only problem is that it would mean a lot of long hours and a lot of travel.  So, we are trying to decide what's best right now.  If we do decide to take it he would have to leave in the next couple of weeks.  Which would mean he would probably be gone for Christmas.  I would follow in the next couple of months, once things got wrapped up here.  Sigh.  Big decision.  If we do go, I would be a stay at home mom.  Do the weekender Air Force Reserves thing.  So that would be interesting.  We shall see.

Piiiiing,


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Fight

So, per Syd's request, I am submitting my short story that I wrote for my creative writing class.  It wa inspired by a news article I read about the British Health Care system.  Let me just, it is freaking impossible to write a story when you are only limited to 5 pages double spaced.  I like me some details, and this is definately lacking in my opinion.  But I think it turned out okay.....ehhh....  It was amazing to me writing it how it transformed.  It started out from the Dr's view, then it was about a man.  Then it was about a man with kidney cancer and viola'!  Here it is.  Ha ha.  So, enjoy. 

 

The Fight

 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Kingston, but you have stage three breast cancer.  Infiltrating ductal carcinoma.”  These words from the sterile-looking physician echoed through Sean and Andrea Kingston’s head. 

When Andrea found a lump in her breast six months ago, she honestly didn’t imagine she would find herself sitting in the wood-paneled doctor’s office hearing the word cancer.  Her husband Sean had convinced her to see the doctor.  It’s always better to be on the safe side, right? “Besides, it’s free after all,” Sean added. 

            “Free!?  Ha!” Andrea stated, thinking about her last tax statement.  Fifty five percent income-tax for a national health plan seemed quite a bit more expensive than free.

 “We do have a few treatment options.  Because it is so far advanced, I first off would recommend a full mastectomy.  If we had caught it sooner, we wouldn’t have to take such drastic measures,” the doctor responded.

“Sooner!”  Sean yelled as he stood up.  “Are you kidding me?  My wife made an appointment with this goddamn place six months ago and it took you this fucking long to get her in.  Sooner?  Where would we have been six months ago?  Huh?  What would the prognosis been six months ago doctor?” he asked slamming his chair against a wall.

“Sean…please,” Andrea whispered, staring blankly at the floor.

“I’m sorry Mr. Kingston.  We are really backed up.  This was the soonest we could get her in,” the doctor said.

Sean walked over to his shaking wife and wrapped his arms around her.  They had been married for eight years and never had he seen her look so vulnerable.  He never had to protect her from anything; she stood up to the world like a championship boxer.  Looking at her now, her liquid blue eyes full of fear; he couldn’t help but feel he had somehow failed her.  How could he protect her from this?

 

Sean and Andrea had met in college at a political rally on campus.  Sean was a mediocre student there on a football scholarship.  Andrea was a political science major in her senior year; she was going to save the world. 

At the time Andrea was fighting for health care reform.  “It is everyone’s right to have access to affordable health care,” Andrea said as she passed the petition form around.

She was so fierce and beautiful, Sean had thought.  Her long blond hair pulled off of her flawless, makeup free face.  When she handed him her clipboard, he signed it despite the fact he hadn’t paid attention to what it was.  It really didn’t matter to him.  She could have asked him to sign a petition against football and he would have; her passion was infectious

 

 “In addition to the surgery, there are various targeted drug treatments that I would recommend,” the doctor continued, shifting in his seat.  “There are basically two chemotherapy drugs out there that I would recommend for your situation.”

“What are they?  What’s the difference between the two?” Andrea asked.

“There called Cytoxan and Taxotene.  Both drugs are distributed intravenously and their job is to impede the dissection of malignant cells by acting on the cell’s internal skeleton.  The side effects are very similar to one another.  However, the main difference research has shown is that there is a twenty five percent success rate with the Cytoxan and fifty percent success rate with the Taxotene,” the doctor continue.

“What the hell are we talking about here!?” Sean interjected.  “Of course we are going to go with the Taxotene.  How is that even a question?”

“Which one is covered by the health plan?” Andrea asked looking at the doctor, already knowing what the answer is going to be.

“Unfortunately, the Taxotene is not covered by the health plan.  The Cytoxan is.  However, you do have the option to pay out of pocket for the Taxotene,” the doctor explained.

“I don’t give a shit.  I’ll pay for it myself,” Sean stated slamming his hand on the desk.  Sean looked over at his wife and knew that he would fight for her the way Andrea had taught him to fight.    

 

A few weeks following the rally, Sean and Andrea began dating.  Sean was amazed at Andrea’s compassion and intensity.  He had never been around someone so passionate.  It was inspiring.  

Sean joined in Andrea’s campaign for health care reform- passing out flyers, going door to door, circulating petitions and so on.  Mornings were spent in class, afternoons campaigning, and at night they were tangled in each others arms.

Sean and Andrea were married three months after graduating college.  It was a happy marriage, despite the normal up and downs of any relationship.  They complimented each other well. 

Andrea got a job working as the program coordinator for the Citizens for National Healthcare.  It was a job she was excited to go to every day and Sean was happy to see her so content to be fighting for something.  Sean got a job as building contractor and helped Andrea in her career whenever he could. 

They were happy to be fighting together.

 

            “There is something you need to understand before you make the decision to pay for the treatment on your own, Mr. Kingston,” the doctor said shifting the papers he held in his hand.  “If you choose to pursue this avenue of treatment, you must incur all the total cost of the treatment.”

            “What do you mean, the total cost?” Sean asked.

            “He means all the cost of the appointments, the surgery, the blood draws, everything Sean.  We would have to pay for it all,” Andrea replied.

            “Wha…what?  I don’t understand.  That doesn’t make sense.  What about our health care plan?  Why? What the hell are you talking about?” Sean stammered.

            “Mr. Kingston, you’re wife is correct.  It is the policy that if you opt to privately fund any portion of a treatment of a specific diagnosis, the National Health Plan will not cover any of the costs associated with the treatment.  I’m sorry...” the doctor answered looking at the papers in his hand.

            “This is bull shit!” Sean yelled.  “How the hell am I….what can…we can’t afford that,” he yelled breaking down in tears.

 

After four years of fighting for reform to the broken health care system, the National Healthcare Program was finally brought to life.  Every person would finally have access to adequate health care.

Andrea and Sean were very pleased and proud of the role they played.  Their tireless effort had paid off.  Together they had fought passionately for a change and now they stood with the outcome in their hands.

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Kingston, please think carefully about your options.  Make another appointment with the front desk and we will map out our plan for your treatment,” the doctor said standing.  “Again, I am very sorry.”  Sean and Andrea sat in their seats absorbing their future.

The doctor walked out of the office and down the hall.  Damn it.  What the hell do they expect from me, the doctor thought pulling his appointment book out?  How is any of this my fault?  Hell, I can barely pay my malpractice insurance.

He sighed and looked at the rest of the appointments for the day.

            “It’s going to be a long day,” he muttered staring at the rows upon rows of names that covered his calendar



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